Have you ever boxed yourself in? Blocked yourself from there very things you want so dearly with refusal of change? Maybe held onto some attitude or habit that allowed you to distance yourself from the future you know is on the horizon?
This is my question. There seem to be times where the entire history behind me unrolls with every breath like a Japanese scroll painting. It keeps unfolding and clinging to heels until we arrive, present. The scroll is filled with a beautiful mystery. Like I can't even imagine all those things have already happened. And in the present you look around and know there are a couple roads before you and you have to choose. Something must be left behind, but it's like your feet are stuck and you turn around in circles trying to see how you even got here.
Stagnant is the enemy of the flow. The Four of Pentacles in Tarot represents this stagnancy. Sitting on your own thrown, holding your coins, unwilling to use them for fear of loss. Sometimes these images weigh so heavily in this mind's eye there appears no fathoming a way out. And what about patterns in this graph of the past? Even though I can see the patterns so clearly, I can't help but wonder that if I chose one again that maybe it's still building towards something. Or maybe it's just building a brick wall on all sides to keep me in.
And that's all I have to say right now.
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