Wednesday, May 14, 2014

the dark lord

"I see the bad moon arising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin'
I see bad times today."

The full moon in Scorpio today got me thinking about the dark lord. Pluto, or rather Hades that is and I thought I'd share what transiting pluto can do to your life.

Pluto has been transiting my 4th house cusp for over a year now and this is the only way I can truly describe it. I realize that it's a bit revealing, but it's the truth. I've read many stories similar to my own and now I really know what it is they mean.

Everything I thought was real, to date, has been destroyed. There are few illusions left in my eyes. My insides are filled with a rage and the energy of death courses up and through my body every day, yet in dead of night, there's some sort of peace. The dark lord has unmercifully shown me truths I never wanted anything to do with. These truths have all but killed any jovial thoughts that once easily rummaged my mind. And yet, I've spent all of this time lifting weights and shedding weight, I guess attempting to prove that I'm strong on the outside, while feeling completely miserable and dead underneath.

Truths, you ask? They are not the kind you tell people about, not even your best friend. These are the things you're ashamed to admit you ever once believed, the illusions you didn't know you had until the dark lord pulled a quick and dirty five finger discount and holds an elbow to the wound, intent on causing as much pain as possible to ensure the truth isn't dissolved.

And somehow, all of these things are happening around me. Things that are 'good,' but there's no joy in them for me. All of the innocence and romance has been removed and I don't see the point in doing anything but trying to shield myself from further intrusion.

It's all very revealing, at least to me. I imagine most would just say I'm clinically depressed, but I can see the reason for it. I know what is happening and I guess I have a very small amount of hope that the metamorphosis will transpire and I'll just accept what is now known, for what is now known and quit mourning the loss of what I wanted things to be.

And that, in a nutshell, has been my pluto transit experience to date.

Happy Full Moon in Scorpio! HOWL!