A long time ago, I met a man who would become my best friend and my husband. We were happy. I know that nostalgia can kill a lot of negativity, but when I look back I do see real, easy happiness. The kind I don't think I was used to seeing as a kid. We rarely fought, we laughed so much, we were full of inside jokes. Just happy. And then something happened. Nothing visible really, but I know that I was compelled to leave and we ended up getting divorced.
I went with it, as I do, but years later we could still talk like good friends and there was no animosity. We still have 'joint' custody of the dog, so I see him and his new family on occasion. When I met his daughter the first time, it was amazing. She glommed onto me like we'd known each other forever. The sweetest little girl. I met her when I was picking up the dog for a weekend stay and again a few times after that. It dawned on me a couple years ago that she was the reason. We were going to be DINKS forever and if I hadn't left, he would never have been a Dad and I always thought he would be the very BEST FATHER EVER.
Fast forward to a few days ago. I received a message from his wife. She said, I had to tell you this, we were taking Diva to the groomers (our dog) and his daughter randomly said, "I miss Jennifer, I want to give her a hug." Keep in mind, I've only met her a few times. I was so shocked and what I get from that, is this little soul knows I had to go so she could be born. She knows I played a part in it. Amazing. Skeptic all you want, but there's no real logical reason for her to remember me like that.
I said, she has such a big heart, give her a hug for me! She wrote back to say the little girl said, "My heart is love Mama."
I almost fell straight into tears, if that isn't the smartest statement you've ever heard, I don't know what is. And I think to myself, I'm so glad that this amazing little girl was born and that I followed the illogical path I felt before me. The world needs to hear more statements like that and remember their truth.
And in that moment, my 38 year old heart got bigger too...
