Immediately upon arrival, we grabbed a six pack of 16 ounce Coors Light and headed directly to backyard behind his backyard where we were greeted by a dried up Christmas tree tossed atop the largest living fire pit I've seen in my life. Bobby is greeted like he's some kind of legendary super hero and all the kids are screaming. Bobby, Hey Bobby, come see my new bow 'n arrow! Hey, hey! Kids running around screaming, Bobby's handing them fire crackers left and right and tossing a few at the now 12 foot high bonfire. Crack, snapple, pop, I Guess!
Everyone's laughing, screaming, cussing and talking over each other. All across the neighborhood this laughter is far from muffled. Little kids are taking bottle rockets, sticking them in the ground standing right next to you to light them off, while the mother's are yelling "Hey, use the long lighter, you'll shoot your eye out!" (Exaggerated for greater effect) A little girl points at her mom and says "...because THAT ONE won't let me" with a smirk on her face. The parents of a 15 year old embarrass the EFF out of him with the raunchiest insinuations about what him and his girlfriend were up too in the house. Another Xmas tree goes on the fire, while across the street they're burning with gasoline and the flames double, maybe even triple the size of the dueling Xmas tree Exodus we got going over here.
One of the kids shot the neighbor guy in the stomach with an Airsoft Gun (still no clue what that is) and he proudly displays his 'third nipple' of a wound and the story is told with animated gusto. The little boy chimes in "He told me to shoot him!!" MORE BELLY LAUGHTER! "Yeah, I told him to shoot me and he didn't waste no time!" Giggling, cussing abound...
My heads spinning, I don't know where to look, it's coming from all sides and it doesn't matter, I suddenly have this sense that I don't have to focus on anything at all. I can just stand here in the dark and see completely free entertaining fun in action.
More neighbors come filing into the garage with a growler of home brew, and a baby monitor, only that's not all; the Growler has it's own cozy!!! Yes, a growler fucking cozy, which by now I've had a few, so I start gushing over the thing and my laughter gets big and robust like theirs. They pass tastes around the garage and there's food! They tell me to try the fawn. What?! As in Bambi? Baby Deer? Why yes, it's sooo good, they tell me. And you know something? IT'S DE-EFFING-LICIOUS. I can't stop, nor do I want too, and they make me feel no shame for digging my fingers in there to grab another bear sized bite. They tell me I have to try the deep fried Pheasant next time. Only they pronounce them 'Phe-Zaants,' intentionally and make sure you do too! So, I'm yelling, we're gonna go shoot some Phe-Zaants tomorrow! WooT!
Kids are running to and from the fridge getting the adults more beers. One kid is playing with a tennis ball thrower and chucks it towards the ground, the tennis ball hits the concrete and bounces directly back and smacks him in the eye. A quick "are you okay?" and everyone's rolling on the floor belly laughing, making fun of the kid and he just smiles, holds his eye and runs in the house to check out his newly acquired battle wound.
Across the street are the 21 year olds and more fire works. Bobby goes over there with the younger boys and gives them a roman candle. "No, aim it at the neighbors house!" he's yelling, in his warm commanding voice. The little kid can't figure it out so he runs up behind him and points it for him and shoots one right at the window. MORE LAUGHTER. MORE BEER. More delicious Fawn.
As the night progresses, the 21 year olds across the street bust out an axe and set to town on chopping beer cans into the yard, squirreling over how best to get 'er done. Bobby tosses a can into the fire and one of them says, "Hey! I was gonna smash that," and wouldn't you know he reaches his hand in there, pulls the can out, throws it on the ground and says, damn that's hot. Without another thought he grabs the axe and turns that can into what rather closely resembles an ear.
Then, as if the fire isn't big enough, nope, nope, they bust out a saw and take some branches off the neighbors tree and toss them into the mix of gasoline and from what I can tell boulder sized stumps. And they're sitting around, smashing cans talking about nothing, laughing and making fun of each other all the while.
In the morning all is ablaze already. Garage doors and lemonade stands are open. There's chalk and chalk buckets in the middle of the street. Kids and older kids on bikes and suped up dirt bikes roam the neighborhood. The neighbors holler over that they're deep frying up a turkey later and to 'Come on by!" (I think I most definitely will thank you very much) but first I've got to drop in on the parents of the Growler and Growler Cozy because they're brewing up some beer today! If I could, I would describe the contraption in the garage, but it's beyond me. All I know is that it was magical and they were as nice to me sober as they were drunk.
So and so's kids are gonna make 20 bucks watching so and so's dogs next weekend and everything is fine, free, dandy and littered with laughter and last nights hang overs and injuries. And I wonder. It's like a whole big giant family, where everybody's watching each others back and their kids! It's like a world all its own with down home fun and regular life. There's no false prefaces, these people know who they aren't and they compromise nothing of their rules and standards. Unabashedly slinging slang terms and the f-word and littering raunchy jokes around their kids, but some how it's so big hearted and real, it's hard not to fall right for it. And right into it, because once you're in (like Bobby) you're really IN! You've gained the siblings, cousins, creepy uncles, kids and aunts you never had, for better or worse. This is red neck culture.
And between this time and now something to me occurred, that maybe this is something real, like a tight knitting in the world's blanket and maybe I wanna be a part of it. (read South of the Border for more clues as to why). But beyond that, it was like an opening into things I've never really understood. I've always been fascinated by these kind of tight knit cultures where people share and laugh and give a damn about each other and play stomp the hat in the winter time or whatever. But, I've always kind of stayed on the detached side of things, like there's that fear of falling into the abyss and losing my identity or something. I'm not going to go all deep on this topic, although I definitely feel it worthy.
One thing I know for sure is it was one mother effing free wheeling, can smashing, shameless fawn eating, good time...
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