the secret lives of men and women

I'm home sick again today by popular colleague demand and in between napping I was leafing through a book I stumbled upon awhile back. I was at the Half Priced Book Store looking for answers to my current dilemma's through the accidental finding of another's words meant just for me. The book is called "The Secret Lives of Men and Woman" and is a series of dark secrets put out there by real people leading real lives. The author put himself out there to receive and publish these cloak and daggers on behalf of people to get it off their chests.

The book is fraught with things like the following:

"I mailed her an anonymous newspaper article about infidelity so that she would be suspicious." 

"I once gave LSD to a possum." 

"I committed adultery hoping it would be more than just a F&^k. I was wrong!" 

"When my husband comes home drunk and passes out, I steal money from his wallet."

You get the picture. In a way this book is very sad. It's troublesome to think about all the disappointments, fears, resentments and general unhappiness on our backs. At the same time I applaud the author for the creative endeavor in providing people the opportunity to drop off a load.

I have secrets of my own and I'm about to off one. It isn't so much a secret as a story I've never told anyone, because it would probably freak people out. Nonetheless, it is a true story and it did, in fact, freak me out.

As you may have read in a previous post, I am an avid Out of Body experiencer. I had a period in my early twenties where I spent time researching and experimenting extensively with it. I was just working and doing little else, so I would take a nap every day and go fly around the world.

I started doing things like flying out the window, looking around to see what was happening in the neighborhood and quickly drawing myself back in to look outside and see if things matched up. It turned out they often did. A particular car in a driveway, a dog in the yard, someone mowing the lawn or a piece of equipment on a patio, etc. I was shocked at this phenomena of being able to be out in the real world without my body (vehicle.) Yes, I am aware there are other possible explanations for this, but I was there...

Well, one day with no planning on my part I visited my significant other in one of these experiences and discovered he was doing drugs. I left my body easily and floated about carelessly until I 'was taken' to a building I knew to be his workplace. He was there walking down a hallway. I 'walked' next to him and he was talking in his head, saying things like, "this is the last time." "After tonight I'm not doing this anymore." "God this is stupid, why am I doing this." There were stairs at the end of the hallway and he went down and gave money to a man and took a bag of cocaine.

When I came back to the 'real' world I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Was that real? Had I gone into a lucid dream? What was happening. It was massively confusing mind madness. Well, he was supposed to come over that night after work. I waited and waited, he never came, never called. I tried calling him, nothing.

I couldn't exactly confront him under the circumstances or just ask point blank. How crazy would that sound! Especially to a born again Christian who already thought I was a witch for being an astrologer. So, I kept my mouth shut and sure enough found out shortly thereafter that he was in fact using drugs and blowing me off because of it.

All this to say, I've never told anyone this and I have visited other people on these travels, albeit unintentionally. But it's freaky to know it's a possibility and what that might all mean.

Have a secret? Anonymous comments are welcome...

There is also a website filled with secrets by the books author http://www.postsecret.com.

Enjoy.