death by

suicide.

Chris Cornell.
Robin Williams.
Marilyn Monroe.
Kurt Cobain.
Mindy McCready.
Bob Welch.

The list is much longer than this and will continue to grow. Imagine all of that talent; disposed. At least they live on through their work. I think it's ever disturbing to be human in some ways. Especially if you are at least moderately awake. There's a nagging sense of not belonging in the body, but being forced to use it. Sometimes I think of it as a long daily commute. Trapped in the car, unable to fly like you know you would if you were as free as the stirrings of your insides.

There are so many limitations to living in a body. When your mind and your spirit don't match, it can be so alone. Tragic? Yes. But as much as these icons shed their skin on the screens, through lyric, song and modeling a fancy, their deaths seem so symbolic of something we intrinsically know as humans. To be vulnerable. To be out of place. To be constantly striving to be oneself and find the will to spread a unique vision out for the world to know. But even when you do, the fear that it will be lost in translation or mis-used is present. And if you become too successful, someone will want to bring you down. And for what? For manifesting your own greatness or for selling out...

I get to feeling that we all want to be seen and heard for our deepest self. Some shine best in the public, some avoid it and prefer only close intimacy, but we all crave it. And I can see how the drive to be actualized followed by perpetual disappointment, coupled with drugs and an insane lifestyle could lead someone to take that action. That last moment of despair, faced alone and the desire to escape the unending highs and lows of living. It's devastating.

But it is something to really draw in and consider. Iconic in life, symbolic in death. To momentarily recall that we're all fragile and we're all in this together, so why all the separation? Why all the violence and hurt. It could only be better, with a little consciousness. A little consideration. Less tragedy, more support.

I think Chris Cornell expressed these sentiments well in "Shadow of the Sun" - Audioslave. If you've never, I recommend it. That's all I have to say right now.

"Shadow Of The Sun"

Once upon a time I was of the mind
To lay your burden down
And leave you where you stood
And you believed I could
You'd seen It done before
I could read your thoughts
Tell you what you saw
And never say a word
Now all that is gone
Over with and done - never to return

[Chorus 1:]
And I can tell you why
People die alone
I can tell you I'm
A shadow on the sun

Staring at the loss
Looking for a cause
And never really sure
Nothing but a hole
To live without a soul
And nothing to be learned

[Chorus 2:]
And I can tell you why
People go insane
I can show you how
You could do the same
I can tell you why
The end will never come
I can tell you I'm
A shadow on the sun

Shapes of every size
Move behind my eyes
Doors inside my head
Bolted from within
Every drop of flame
Lights a candle in
Memory of the one
Who lives inside my skin

[Chorus 2:]
And I can tell you why
People go insane
I can show you how
You could do the same
I can tell you why
The end will never come
I can tell you I'm
A shadow on the sun