It's time to start looking with different eyes. Untrained eyes. Eyes that see directly into, instead of outside of people and nature. Humans and things very much alive. The ones that bleed and breathe, but we look past them because they have some form of varicose veins, cellulite, other uglities and strangers aside. They walk around just the same as the 'beautiful' ones. Look past them, unless they appear to be what we're taught is beautiful. Unfortunately, I've found myself doing this very thing and such disheartening has me realizing how far I may have strayed.
But, today! I am moving on from that redundant form of vision and back to the more gentle person who lives in this shell. A woman was walking towards me at the gym tonight. An older lady, wearing ordinary clothes, short, wide framed, big legs and no smile. Not the kind of friendly older lady, you know the one who smiles at you or says hello, excuse me, etc. and as a result you definitely notice her. The other kind, the one who ghosts right past.
Anyways, I was walking towards her and glanced slyly at those walking next to me and nobody looked at her. I know, from experience, had she been the right shape, size and gym scant in clad, they would've stopped what they were saying and looked intently or 'skillfully.' Right...
Well, I looked at her, and I kept looking and this sort of subtle softness emerged and quickly too. It had nothing to do with her appearance, it was something entirely enigmatic about her humanness. And maybe it was just me, maybe there was nothing inherently 'special' about her, but I was suddenly back to being me and seeing the way that I do.
All this to say, striving tomorrow to do the same. To look at all humans, animals and living creatures through satiny eyes. I fear the trouble will undoubtedly be the other side of the sword. Seeing only the superficial in those the media has designed exactly for a trained eye.
We'll see...
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