momentum

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some place essential

  the mind  

it chooses

to swing that pendulum

of momentum

towards something

towards life

side to side

front to back

around and around

or it doesn't

believing it has no choice

yet the pendulum

is there

ready

steady

waiting for

you to swing 

so it may be swung

and life begun

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

more than lucky

Some days I can't believe how lucky I am. Just looking around at all the wonderful people who've walked the same path with me for a time, helping each other, relating, loving and living through the rough and tumble is amazing. I hear stories from other people about their past messed up relationships and the things that people did to them and it makes me so grateful to have been so lucky. I've been loved more times than I can count in ways that were so very unconditional and I just wish this for the rest of the world too.

I don't have much else to say today. Just reflecting, after a weekend in Two Harbors attending a very beautiful wedding with two very amazing people. When they look into each others eyes you can tell, there's love and it's so very life affirming. I'll never be a cynic about love, it's too beautiful.

hush little baby

I imagine she was a rather quiet baby
kind of baby that never howled or yelled
even in this infant state, survival dependent on silence.

Patient, on hold, paralyzed
holy wailing on the inside
a dirty rashed tushy
where a dimpled bum should've been.

Serene, too pleasant gaze
no cooing and joyful flailing
where vivid affectation could glean.

Not this baby
It lies
waiting
until it hears no more discord.

the burn of mothers reluctant, teary eyed heart finally available
but still taking
needing
the warm little body to comfort her.

And it's sad
because the mother's mothers tears stain the trail of a future
with generations of fears heard by babes
not mothers.

Noose getting loose

There were all these hatchets, hatchets buried years ago. It turns out I jut hid them, sat on them like a hen on eggs, waiting, waiting as they grew. They multiplied and divided to produce little mini-hatchets and the shovel I held wouldn't do the digging for me.

I thought just now about letting this last hatchet go, is it even worth it? Without shared sense of validation, no give and take. What would be the point? To burn up a few more karmic dollars? How many more do I have to spare.

In the now, how great it is to be freed. But the noose gets looser all the time, but you'll pull a cord and I'll grasp the rope around my neck to keep the strangle at bay.

Safe Reveal

There is a certain safety in the reveal. Allowing the self to emerge and drop it's shield in a place where we face demands on our appearance, demands on our time, the demand to perform, such high stakes can lead to conform. Save face, keep your reputation in tact and maintain an image with appeal. But in the reveal, the soul is saved from the confines and set free by the exposure.

This exposure, to me, is akin to writing until I drive straight into vulnerability. Where the words themselves are not in danger, but as a writer you dance closer to an edge, closer to the safety in the reveal where you are once again whole within and without the nine to five.